MAP to the Upper Hutt Cossie Club
This is a unique KPW tag team title defence, because cocksure champions Rodeo Drive are actually issuing an open challenge! The A-Listers are so cocky and so sure they've got everything sewn up tight from all angles - what with manager "Danger" Donahue being their third man at ringside - that they've laid the belts on the line and simply dared the rest of KPW to try to take 'em away.
To be sure enough to issue an open challenge, Rodeo Drive has to be either supremely confident or supremely prepared. There are any number of competent, ready wrestlers in the KPW locker room who are itching to take the gold from Rodeo Drive and be the championship representatives of the company that KPW needs. There are any number of combinations of wrestlers that Rodeo Drive might have to face, far too many for me to speculate. It's true that since bringing "The Natural" on board, Rodeo Drive's stock has gone through the roof, and them capturing the KPW Tag Team Championship is proof positive.
They say that birds of a feather flock together - Roberts and Jordan are more birds of prey than the hunters they believe themselves to be, especially when Donahue swings his steel chain. This open challenge is a golden opportunity for an awesome twosome to knock Rodeo Drive off their "high rent district" perch and walk away with the gold!
T-REX versus EL GRINDO
Last time at the Cossie Club, T-Rex polished off two opponents in the same match, so you think that a lone challenger would prove no problem for the "Grumpasaurus". Tutored by the British veteran Marcus Kool, possessed of prodigious strength and a killer instinct, T-Rex is a grim, powerful wresting machine when he's left off the chain. The only thing he enjoys is hurting his opponents, and he's not picky about who that may be.
In this match - a true baptism of fire - the "human pepper grinder" will have to come up with a unique gameplan to unseat T-Rex. As the Light-Middleweight-Heavyweight Champion of the Republic of Ecuador, El Grindo has the edge on speed, a slight edge in experience, and will have to draw on the support of the fans to run rings around his larger opponent. One area in which El Grindo might outstrip T-Rex is in sheer determination - El Grindo is spicier than chilli con carne, loves to entertain the fans, but he hates to lose. A positive outlet for that frustration and anger will be taking the fight to T-Rex at the Cossie Club, but will speed or power prevail on the day?
KPW Women's Championship match: NURSE PAYNE (champ) versus SCARLETT. Special Guest Referee: QUEEN HOLLIE
Nurse Payne has boundless positivity and energy, and remains a firm fan favourite. Far from a wilting flower, Nurse any has taken on the best in women's professional wrestling that New Zealand can throw at her, and has not only survived, but thrived as the KPW Woman's Champion. Agility, dexterity sped and flexibility are her weapons, as well as an uncanny ability to find and exploit gaps in her opponents' defence.
Scarlett lets her confidence run away with her. Coupled with her natural ability and general resentment of others, this adds up to trouble for her opponents. Hard training and athleticism don't cover a vicious streak, and such conduct leads Scarlett straight into conflict with the rules of the ring. One thing that really galls her is that Nurse Payne is holding the championship which Scarlett believes is rightly hers.
These two last faced for the championship late last year, and although Nurse any came out on top, Scarlett's anger once again got the better of her and she further alienated the KPW fans and locker room by attacking the retaining champion. At "CossieCarnage 2" can she take the Championship?
Often the "third man in the ring", in this encounter the referee could well be the kingmaker, or "queenmaker", if you will. The self-appointed supreme diva of KPW, Queen Hollie has managed to wangle the plumb job as special referee for this championship match. One item Queen Hollie desires more than any else for the royal jewelry box is the KPW Woman's Championship. She wrestled Nurse Payne before, trading victories, but the championship has thus far eluded the Queen. All the KPW fans know that there is no depth to which Queen Hollie will not stoop (she's that flexible and devious) - could this match be where Queen Hollie unleashes her master plan against her longtime foe Nurse Payne?
KADE MORGAN "3G" versus RHYS YOUNGBLOOD
Morgan remains New Zealand's only third generation professional wrestler and the only wrestler in KPW to rival Steve Jordan for the title of a total package. A dangerous combination of pedigree, power, agility and ferocity, perhaps Morgan's greatest assets is his ability to absorb a ridiculous amount of punishment. Equally at home in singles or tag team competition, Kade Morgan remains a perennial threat to anyone's place on the KPW rankings. Which is fortunate for him, because he's facing one tough customer.
A hot prospect discovered by the Hughes Academy of Professional Wrestling in Auckland during their May intake, Rhys Youngblood impressed 12-year industry veteran Graham Hughes with his athleticism, power and pedigree. Youngblood was trained by Tom Pritchard, Ricky Steamboat, Norman Smiley and the Anoa'i brothers, among others. He has wrestled extensively in America, including in WWE's development organisation FCW. At the first Hughes Academy show on 11 May 2013 in Auckland, he made short but emphatic work of formidable KPW veteran Jimmy Foxx in an impromptu match. Standing 6' 4" / 193 cms and weighing 260 pounds / 118 kilos, Rhys Youngblood is set to cut a swath through the New Zealand wrestling scene. At only 26 years of age, this young man's brightest days are before him. Will Kade Morgan be the first in a string of fallen foes on the way to the top, or will Morgan end Youngblood's quest for gold before it begins?
"The International Superstar" H-FLAME versus "The Standard Hero" GRAHAM HUGHES
KPW fans know H-Flame as the longest-reigning and "fightingest" KPW champion in history, one of only two men in KPW to hold both the KPW Championship and Tag Team Championship. Superb fitness, the support of the fans and international experience enable H-Flame to take on any challenger and invariably emerge victorious. A KPW mainstay since the company's foundation, H-Flame knows Sinclair's style, so may well have "the Shooter" scouted in this match.
Graham Hughes is the "Standard Hero" from Portsmouth, England. A veteran who has wrestled all over Europe, been trained by the best and in turn trained the best, Hughes recently opened the Hughes Academy of Professional Wrestling. Hughes never match from which he baked down and never met a hold he couldn't counter. Quick, adaptable, experienced, cool under pressure, Hughes is an extremely formidable opponent.
These two wrestlers have tangled before, in a stunning technical, high-flying match that sadly ended inconclusively due to outside interference. I know that Hughes will be eager to tie up with veteran H-Flame, as much as for the enjoyment of a good technical match against a worthy foe as showing the fans who is the better man. This match will be one to watch!
Special attraction: Maniacs United "triple threat" match: J.P.E. (Just Plain Evil) versus KRYSTAL KAYNE versus ANGEL
It's three times the action as a trio of Maniacs United wrestlers take on each other in a match where there can be only one winner! JPE is a powerful veteran, with more experience than her opponents combined. She cares more about sending a message to her opponents - written on pain - than winning matches outright. I have to give the edge to this woman.
Krystal Kaine is young, vicious and malicious. Her anger might get the better of her, and she could care less about the fans, but her youthful energy allows her to steamroll her opponents.
SHANE "The Shooter" SINCLAIR versus JONNIE JUICE
Recently re-inventing himself as "The Shooter", the-wrestler-formerly-known-as-The-Technician seems to be getting back in touch with the fans. This change in attitude hasn't dulled Sinclair's spectacular grappling abilities, as opponents have discovered. Sinclair is riding high with his recent tournament win of the Hughes Academy of Professional Wrestling trophy, defeating three other accomplished wrestlers to do so. In this match, he'll also have to face three opponents, but all at once. One-on-one, no-one can out-wrestle Sinclair on the mat, but the Shooter could find himself outgunned by his opponent's experience and cunning.
One of the originals of New Zealand professional wrestling, Jonnie Juice has practically seen and done it all. Originating from Upper Hutt, tThe leader of Team Pretty has held two New Zealand heavyweight championships, but currently holds no scruples. His greatest strength is his ruthless ability to cheat in any given situation, twisting any predicament to his advantage. Coupled with his fast-paced innovative wrestling style, Jonnie Juice remains a king-sized threat. This match is an opportunity for Jonnie Juice to re-establish himself in KPW, and he's never one to let an opportunity pass unexploited!
Three Way Elimination match: "The Fixation" JIMMY FOXX versus LAZARUS VOLT versus BULL ADDAMS
In a change to the advertised card, Doctor Diablo has been advised to withdraw from this competition after sustaining a mild concussion while practicing uncharacteristcally high-flying manoeuvres by moonsaulting off Tijuana overpasses onto unsuspecting tourists.
This match will still be an exercise in three-way mayhem. Like Europe, there will be no long-term alliances, betrayals and blindsides galore and only one winner!
Jimmy Foxx has more ego than all his opponents combined, and almost as much skill. A killer instinct and ability to strike at the right place at the right time has made him the bane of many wrestlers. Consequently, this match could turn into a two-on-one affair for Foxx (down from three-on-one odds, so things are improving). This means he'll be fixated on outwitting and outlasting everyone - and who better to survive by whatever means necessary?
Flying solo at this point in his career, the "little man from the big top" could well outlast the three other competitors due to sheer pluck. Lazarus Volt has survived stickier situations with his legendary speed and cunning. He could well take out all his opponents if he wisely picks and chooses his shots. Could the ex-ringmaster pull a victory from his top hat?
Bull Addams is certainly the strongest competitor in this match. He could batter his way to victory on strength alone! Always favouring the direct route, the big man from the Bay of Plenty might have a hard time getting his hands on the lighter competitors, but he only needs to hit one power move to incapacitate a foe!
Special attraction match: BATTLE ROYAL
The rules are simple: anyone left capable after their grueling match can begin the ring and anyone thrown out over the top rope with both feet touching the floor is eliminated! Anyone winning such a tough match as a battle royal would make a strong contender for the coveted KPW Championship, currently held by Whetu the Maori Warrior. You can bet that KPW management are eagerly watching to see which wrestler is the last competitor left standing in the ring. There'll be no friends and only enemies in this encounter - winner takes the glory and the losers take the blame!
So come along to the Upper Hutt Cossie Club on the 21st of July to see the finest in family-friendly New Zealand professional wrestling action. See the stars and get an autograph from your favourite wrestler(s) at intermission! This is Blair "the Flair" saying, "See you at ringside!"
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BLAIR "the Flair"